My Daughter and My Three Sons-in-law

By Robert Darnell [Date Unknown]


Sylvia appeared on the scene in Jena, Louisiana, and after 3 months we settled in Fort Worth, Texas. She had a rather normal childhood consisting of public schools, home life with parents and brothers and sisters, and relatives, and friends.

We moved from Ft Worth to Houston when she was nine and her activities continued along the same course. She was active in church activities and Sunday School. Her early friends were from the neighborhood, school groups, and church groups. Her greatest interests during her early years were dramatics, dancing, and singing. She was a good student and breezed through high school and on to a degree from the U of the T.

She was a good, obedient daughter until about the last year in high school. At that time she was caught up in the hippy movement and went through a mild period of rebellion against her parents and the establishment. She was always very much interested in boys, and had many boy friends from fifth grade on. After college and her first job she brought home what was to be the first of my Three Sons-in-law.

He was Ron, a very talented jack-of-all-trades. There was no romance in this match, maybe a little love, but no really emotional love which binds two people. They started off with a very nice church wedding and went right back to work. One of Ron's most consistent habits was to drink about two six packs of beer every afternoon starting about four PM. This always prepared him for a beautiful evening of arriving home late, dirty, tired and ready to eat and sleep. They fought their way through a couple of years and had a baby girl, Alicia. After a couple of more years of battle they gave it up and divorced. Sylvia was left to raise the baby with Ron consistently not coming through with any child support.

Soon after the divorce, Sylvia showed up at our house one day with what was to be my Three Sons-in-law number 2.This character had long dirty hair that stuck out on his head in every direction, and hair that stuck out the same way on his face. If he had a mouth you couldn't see it and some teeth that stuck out in every direction like his hair about half way down his throat.

A few days after the first meeting, Sylvia called us up and said she was going to marry It. My wife, Jerre, went into a deep faint and didn't recover for two days. She tried to talk some sense into Sylvia, but no go. They were married on a bridge down in Memorial Park on a very hot Summer day. We all went and thought that maybe there was something we didn't see about the situation. There was absolutely no love or romance about this union -- they just did it.

About two weeks later Sylvia called us and they had separated. He was gone and she was devastated in tears.

In a week or so she recovered and then spent about six months getting a divorce from It.

Before that divorce took, she came around one day and lo and behold she had a fellow with her who had one leg. This fellow, Jim, was very understanding, and she could talk to him. He was good to her little girl, Alicia. Well, predictably, the next thing they told us was they were going to get married. Jerre again tried to talk her out of it, but she didn't go into shock this time, she was hardened to what was to be my Three Sons-in-law number 3.

Anyhow they did get married at a church and for sure they were going to live happily ever after.

But with no surprise to anyone after one month they were separated and were going to get a divorce. Sylvia says it was all a mistake and she really didn't know him, Jim.

The first weekend after Jim was gone Sylvia came around with a one-eyed  guy named Billy Bob, who just returned from a Moonie Camp. He's a resident of of West Texas. Wow, here comes My Three Sons-in-law, number 4.