The Houston Open

By Robert Darnell  [Date unknown: when Becky was thirteen]


I'm rather an old fellow and never collected an autograph in my life.

Last year I went out to the Houston Open on Friday and that night was telling my wife and 13 year old daughter about all the famous golfers I had watched that day.

Becky, my daughter, asked why I didn't get her some autographs. I said "Becky, you don't collect autographs." She replied, "Well, I'd start if you had got me some."

On Sunday I went back to the Open with Jerre, my wife. While we were standing around the 18th hole watching all the great pros come in I thought I might as well try for a few autographs.

I had a program and borrowed a pen. The first one that came plowing through was Lee Trevino. Me an old grand-dad, and a bunch of little kids were all holding out our pens. Trevino went storming on by muttering to himself, but no signatures.

The next one I tried was Arnie Palmer. They said he was over by the clubhouse. When I got there he was in the locker room, I started in but the door keeper said, "Whoa, man, where you goin?'"

I said "I was going to get Palmer's autograph."

He said "Hey, you can't do that ... dummy...."

The next one I noticed was JC Snead. He was carrying a load of equipment in both arms with some small packages of golf balls on top. One package of balls fell off so I picked it up with a smile and gave it to him and asked for his autograph. "Naw, I can't do that," he said, "I'm loaded and in a hurry." So I replaced the package of balls and went off.

I though, "Crud, it's not so easy to get these things."

I saw an old guy standing there whom I recognized. He was mopping his brow and saying, "I'm going to get me a tall cool one." I asked for his autograph and he said, "Sure," and signed my program. "Gee, thanks." I'd gotten one.

When I got home I showed my program to Becky and said, "See, I got you an autograph."

She asked, "Who's that?"

And i told her, Julios Boros."

"Who's he?" she asked.

Oh, well.


end